Coach Mac,
I’ll try to keep this one to the point. I broke up with my ex 2 years ago
and now she’s comeback and wants to go to dinner this coming
weekend. TO give you some background. I’m 35 and she’s 25, I know
it’s a big age gap and her maturity was a problem at the end. We were
together for 2 years and it felt like we were always fighting about petty
issues, but I was highly attracted to her so I put up with it more than I
would normally, I can see that now two years later. We broke up for a
variety of reasons, one being she didn’t have job for 6 months and
seemed happy to leach off me. It was ok at first, but then she just got
too comfortable not working and she liked expensive everything, so it
wasn’t good for my finances. I make good money, always have, so it
was ok, then it just got out of hand, she’d run up her credit cards and
then beg me to pay them off, the last one being over 10k grand. She
was clever in her approach to, she knew how to push my happy buttons
if you know what I mean. So I kind of put up with that, but the other
thing was that she’d dress like a skank sometimes and this would just
embarrass me in public. Finally I had enough and broke up with her,
siting the spending issues and the way she dressed as big issues. She
said I care about money too much and I dress like a golfer. I’m actually
a golfer so I wasn’t offended by this. I did miss her a lot, I even hooked
up with her a few times after we broke up, but really it was over when I
found out she had a new boyfriend that was even older than me, he
looks like 45. In the last 2 years I’ve stayed single and really haven’t
met anyone as attractive as her. So when she called I was excited.
Then I thought what are you getting yourself into. We talked for almost
an hour on the phone, she said she called me because she had a dream
about me, but wouldn’t tell me what happened in the dream, she just
giggled about it. She also brought her most recent breakup saying the
guy was controlling and treated her like a child. I bit my tongue to not
say well he could have been your father at his age. She doesn’t know I
saw his picture. I’m going to meet her for dinner, but I wanted to get
your take, how do I play this? I mean I don’t think want her back, but
I’m curious. At the same time I know her and it doesn’t sound like much
changed. She also mentioned on the call that she hasn’t worked for a
year also giggled about this. I think it’s a red flag, but I still want to see
her. Thoughts?