Check out my personal story of when I finally decided to move on.
These are past stories clients have written in. Every breakup is unique in it’s problems and possible solutions. Please take a look at these stories and think what advice would you give? Then after you write out your story and send it to me, think what advice would you give yourself?
I’ve Got Values.
Hello Coach, I’ve got a real situation here. I have a girlfriend who causes me constant problems and seems to alienate all my friends, but gives the best head in the world. Not sure that such skills could be matched. And she seems to use it as a get out of jail free card too. Her reputation prior to us being together was well known, but I know all that practice went to good use. Read more
Here’s my take, if you don’t want her back and really believe that you can separate your feelings from just getting head, then that’s up to you. But you mentioned that you got values. If yours hers don’t match it will never work. And eventually with her messing around with 70. Cal type weapon it’s not going to work. You will get hurt if you have any feelings for her. And you wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t have any feelings for her.
I Cheated and feel guilty.
Hey Coach, I don’t know if this applies to breaking up, but it might be a Segway. I’ve cheated on my girlfriend and feel extremely guilty. She was a super cute Pilipino girl I work with. She was great in bed and I’d actually like to see her again. She also has a boyfriend whom I’ve met. I literally was just giving her a ride home and one thing led to another. Read more
Ok simple answer, how to have your cake and eat it too. Don’t get caught. But here’s the thing if you continue this you will most likely get caught, you’ve got her boyfriend, work and a girl you don’t really know that well. All these variables are out of your control and can expose your cheating in an instant, this is not to mention that your girlfriend will eventually get suspicious and start snooping around until she finds something. It also comes down to how much you care about your girlfriend. Does she deserve better than this? Would you like it if she were banging a super cute Philipino guy at work? If you cheat long enough you will get caught. And you will feel like shit. Make a decision now as to what you really want a solid honest relationship with your current girlfriend or to pursue having more great sex with the cute Pilipino girl from work. Right now you got the decision in your hands if you continue to go this way, you will probably lose both options if continue on and get caught. SO pick one, don’t be greedy.
She’s a clinger.
Hello Mr. Mac, I don’t know if this applies as a breakup, but I need some help. I went out with this girl a total of 6 times. She’s a beautiful Asian women and a nurse. She’s a knockout. On our second date we kissed for hours, but she kept stopping at her panties. She told me if we had sex her feelings would be too strong. She said she falls in love too easy. Read more
Don’t answer her calls and don’t call her again. She’s pry got some issues with guys leaving her in the past and it’s deeper than just you. Take responsibility in that she did warn you and then you went for a second round. You aren’t faultless here. If she gets really out of hand change your number or block hers. Some guys complain about shit like this, but secretly love the attention the fact that a hot chick is infatuated with them is something to brag about. It isn’t this girl has serious issues and the more you interact with her she will find a way to take you down the snake pit. People usually want you to feel what they do.
He’s a bad drinker, but not an alcoholic.
Hey Coach, I’m 32 years old and have a 22-year-old boyfriend. Friends joke that he’s just my sex toy. At first this was true, but now I’ve fell in love with him. He cares and loves me too. But at times his age and lack of maturity really show. He’s a bad drinker; he’s one of those that drink to get wasted. And once he’s wasted he’s capable of making a scene. Read more
Here’s what you do run don’t walk from this relationship. This kind of relationship will suck a lot of energy out of you. First of all your right at 22 most people aren’t ready to address alcohol problems, they don’t even get hangovers at that age. You feel like his mom, because that’s how your relationship has developed he says sorry and you always forgive him. This is now a routine. How should you break up? Have a sit down conversation about why you can’t continue this relationship. Cut off all contact, collect any keys he may have and get ready to turn him away at the door. He’s not going to take this lightly if sorry has worked so often and he likes to drink. He will show up at your door sorry and wanting another chance. It’s up to you to give him one or not. But deep down you know this thing isn’t long-term so cut the head off the snake now before the snake gets to big. If you continue this relationship it will only get worse. This 22-year-old kid has to gain some life experience to match your 10 years on him. Give yourself a chance at a better relationship and be honest with yourself. Don’t you deserve better.
I broke up over a damp towel. Fuck it!
Hello Mr. McCarthy, I’m 49 years old and have always been in short term relationships, mostly by choice. I’ve only suffered one bad breakup and even that one I got over pretty quick. So recently, I’ve had another. This girl and I were together for nearly 2 years, living together for 1 year. The incident that did it was when I was relaxing on the bed with a damp towel. Read more
Short answer to this is, NO you’re not an asshole. You have clear boundaries in your relationships and if they get crossed you have the confidence to move on. You have identified yourself as someone who gets women easily so you probably value you them less. You were honest and direct in breaking up. If feelings of regret and sadness didn’t surface, maybe your feelings for her were never really there. It’s possible you were in the relationship for reasons outside of love and affection. Everyone is capable of a long-term relationship, but you have to value the idea. Some don’t believe in long-term relationships they don’t want to put in the work and that’s ok. Just know its not you, its your values.
My EX contacted me out of the blue, now what?
Hey Coach, I’ve recently had an ex-girlfriend contact me out of the blue. We haven’t seen each other in 7 years. We’ve exchanged a few happy birthdays or emails, but no face-to-face contact. In fact I don’t think we’ve had email contact in 3 years or so. Anyhow I’m in a relationship now, pretty happy but not married. She says she wants to get lunch next time I’m in town to catch up. Read more
Well, what do you want from the meeting? Do you want her to be impressed with you and how you are now? Do you want her to regret breaking up with you? Do you want her to want you back? If you answered yes to any of those, be prepared for a let down if your expectations aren’t met. Also women sense neediness like a shark does blood in the water. So if you’re fearful of meeting her and impressing her she’ll know. On the other hand if you plan to go with no expectations are generally interested in how life is going with her. And your really happy with yours or even just content, then go. What do you have to lose? Just treat it like your meeting an old friend and see where it goes.
My Responses to Your Stories
Visit my YouTube channel and listen to my responses to hundreds of your breakup stories.
Directions for writing your story
- Go to the services page to read the wordcount for each service.
- Add a title if you wish.
- A good place to start your story is how long you were together or how long you’ve been broken up.
- Important questions to answer in the story; Did you live together and is this your first serious breakup?
- Remember your telling the story to someone who knows nothing. Answer Who? What? Where? Why? How? When?
- If you haven’t broken up yet, but are strongly thinking about it then this is a good time to write your story now.
- Ask me a couple a questions at the end, or simply end it with what’s your take on all of this? Specific questions would be; How do I get her back? How do I stop calling her?
- Finally when writing your story at some point it should just flow out of you. Do not think ‘oh I shouldn’t write that,’ what would people think of me. NO WRITE IT. This is my value and you are anonymous. So be honest, it only helps me understand where you are coming from. Don’t lie about your true feelings and intentions.
- Please re-read your story before sending it. Make it clear to others.
- Your first take was your gut talking, stick with that. Any other questions, please check the FAQ page.
Have a Story You Want to Share?
Send it to me in 500 words or less.
Mac McCarthy | Breakup Coach